In general, obsessively returning to fiddle with a story isn’t a great idea. No story is ever perfect, but there comes a time when the best thing is to say that it’s good enough. When the amount of time you’re spending on it outweighs the improvements. When you’re not doing much more than adding commas and then removing them again.
All the same, there are times when it makes sense to go back to something you know should be better. And I’ve been doing that with a short story that was published over twenty years ago.
Present Historic
In 2005, I wrote a short story called Present Historic, a crucially important story in my development. Before then, like most fantasy authors, I’d been writing stories set in a world that had no gunpowder, no advanced technology, where you fought with swords and rode horses.
I still write stories like that and thoroughly enjoy them, but I’d been thinking beyond the normal. After all, our own world was once more or less like that and developed into what we have now, so why shouldn’t my secondary world do the same? And, if so, what would people think about the heroes, villains and in-betweens I’d been writing about?
These thoughts eventually produced Present Historic, where my recurring character the Traveller is remembered in comic-books, TV shows and trashy films, as well as in more sober ways. The main character, Ferriji, is a diplomat whose seemingly impossible dream is inspired by a lifelong adoration of the Traveller. Her scenes are interleaved with scenes from millennia earlier featuring the Traveller himself — and, time being the tricky thing it is, they each manage to inspire the other.
The Story’s Afterlife
Present Historic didn’t take very long to get published. My records show it was accepted on its first submission and published by Deep Magic magazine the same year it was written.
This inspired me to take the “modern” experiment further, and I’ve written short stories, novellas and even a novel ranging from “flintlock & sorcery” to settings firmly in the computer age. A collection of the stories, including Present Historic, was accepted for publication a couple of years ago, but this seems to have stalled.
In a way, perhaps that wasn’t a bad thing. I’d been growing increasingly dissatisfied with Present Historic, but it felt too pivotal a story to leave out easily. It wasn’t just a matter of a style I’ve grown out of, which wouldn’t necessarily have been a bad thing. There were two glaring holes in the plot.
And then, a month or two ago, I had a lightbulb moment and suddenly knew exactly what I needed to do with the story.
Fixing the Problems
There were, as I say, two significant problems with the original version. For one thing, the main character, Ferriji, is a top international diplomat. Now, I’ve never been a diplomat at any level (no, I don’t subscribe to “write what you know”), but I realised that I’d been a bit naive about how it would work. Twenty-odd extra years of experience have made me a little more realistic, and I think the new version is more believable in that respect.
The other issue is that I’d introduced and then ignored a potentially significant secondary character. Enklei is a young woman assigned as Ferriji’s new aide, and the point was to show Ferriji’s character through her reactions, from impatience to eventual affection.
The trouble was, it was all told through Ferriji’s thoughts, and Enklei didn’t actually figure at all meaningfully anywhere in the story. Adding her to a central scene not only gave a real arc to the relationship between the two women, but also made the scene far more dynamic.
So I created the new version — also taking the opportunity to improve the writing — and it ended up about a thousand words longer than the original. And, as I always do, I posted it on Fantasy-Writers.org for critique.
Reaction was mainly positive but suggested I’d still left out another important scene. That was a deliberate choice originally, skipping over the actual success of Ferriji’s plans and merely referring to them in retrospect. I was clearly told that this didn’t work, and after reflection I agreed.
So I needed another lightbulb moment, which duly arrived, and what I’d expected to be a final polish involved adding an entirely new scene — and another seven hundred words. So it’s gone back on FWO, and I’m again hoping it’ll only need a final polish. I’ll let you know.
To Fiddle or Not to Fiddle
In general, as I said, I think a story that’s finished with should be finished with — but not always. There are stories that need to be right, and if that means coming back to them, so be it.
The trick, of course, is knowing which is which. I hope I’ve got that right.
