Most scenes in a story consist of people having a conversation, in one way or another. Or fighting, of course, which is bizarrely similar. Even if there’s only one character in the scene, the chances are they’re thinking — and that’s communication of a kind.
This is fine, but there a scene usually needs more than that. It takes place somewhere; things are happening that don’t directly involve those characters; there are surroundings; there’s a variety of sensory stimuli. This is more than window-dressing. Although the communication may be the heart and soul of the scene, the rest helps to give it a meaning and a context.
However, many authors (and I include myself in this) all too easily fall into the trap of writing scenes that might as well be in a plain white room. In the first draft, at least, though not everyone puts it right even in later drafts.
Of course, like pretty much any approach to writing a story, there are cases when this can work. Some years ago, I wrote an experimental flash piece called In the White Room, where the single scene consisted only of a plain white room and a single character viewed objectively. Not one of my finest stories, but it was a valid thing to try out.
In general, though, a scene needs more than the foreground. So, when I’m trying to decorate the white room in later drafts, what are the things I focus on?
Constructing the Scenery
Every scene takes place somewhere — even if that somewhere happens to be the mists of nonbeing. That can be relevant, too.
For the most part, though, what surrounds the characters gives the scene a sense of place that can be very relevant to what’s going on. Are the characters in a palace room or a hovel? Are they in the middle of a bustling market or in the middle of an eerie forest?
This can be significant for a variety of reasons. It might say something about the characters to know where they hang out. It might be part of the plot, or else play a role in the tension of the scene. Or it might have a practical function — do they need to avoid being overheard, for instance?
Now, obviously I’m not suggesting that each scene should start with a long, detailed description of the surroundings. Or include any long, detailed descriptions at all. A few writers do it awesomely enough to get away with it (Mervyn Peake, for instance) and even they can put some readers off.
In general, describing scenery is like describing characters:
Firstly, focus on a few outstanding features —specific features that tell the reader a lot and help them fill in the rest. Your character is in the throne-room, having an audience with the Queen — that mural behind her head, rich with gold leaf, can speak volumes. They’re in a dark, dingy alley — tell us how the shadows move, rather than what materials the walls are made of.
Secondly, as far as possible, show the scenery dynamically. In the forest, show the trees swaying in the wind, rather than just telling us what kind of trees they are. In the market, don’t just list the types of stalls on show, let the traders cry their wares.
Interacting with the Surroundings
What surrounds the characters talking or fighting doesn’t have to be static scenery. Besides being dynamic in itself (those traders crying their wares, those trees swaying), the scenery also provides abundant opportunities for the characters to interact with it.
Does the space have furniture? You can describe it by having the characters using it. Is there a glade in the forest? They could make camp there, or set a fire. Is the tavern rowdy? They could be interrupted by the server having to picking her way through fights to reach them — or even the fights exploding across their table.
This doesn’t have to be just “business” or window-dressing, though. It could play a crucial role in the scene. Do you want to show the reader that there’s a large window in the room? Have a character look out through it and see something that affects the course of the story.
Make your scenery work for its living.
Using the Senses
We have a lot of senses — far more than the traditional five, in fact, but let’s just use those as a starting-point. Most of us tend to lean very heavily on sight, and that’s certainly true of me. There are sounds, of course, but usually only when they play a practical role in the story. But the sounds surrounding a scene can play as crucial a part as the visuals.
I’ve mentioned the traders crying their wares in the market, but a busy marketplace will be a positive smorgasbord of sounds. Depending on your main character’s state of mind, it might come over as a cacophony or as tantalising snippets from here and there.
Every scene will have its background sound: the wind in the trees, the swish of clothes, the clank of armour and weapons from the royal guard, voices in the distance, the crying of birds high above. Or maybe of dragons.
And then there are the smells. Now, this is the one I really have trouble with, for the simple reason that I have very little sense of smell. There are very rarely any smells in my first drafts, and I have to really think about adding them later. Even though I can’t do it from experience, I can “collect” smells at second hand and have a pretty good idea how to describe and use them from the ways other writers have done it.
Smells can be crucial, though. For anyone who’s not like me, they can be the most direct connection to emotions and memories. If you can make the reader smell what’s around, whether it’s a heady scent or a foul stench, you’ll go a long way to bringing them with you.
Touch and taste are harder to get into the background, although of course both can be important foreground features. Even so, there are possibilities, from the feel of tools, weapons or furniture to the taste of the ale your character’s drinking while having that secret talk in the tavern.
There are other senses, but many of them are more abstract — which is why they’ve only been recognised fairly recently. It would be nice to be able to get balance or proprioception into the background of a scene, but that might be challenging.
Building Through the Drafts
Every author writes in a different way, and that’s perfectly right. For some, the white room is never a thing, and background sensory details flow out naturally in the first draft. For others, everything has to be added later, while I suspect most of us lie somewhere between those extremes.
Wherever you lie on that spectrum, it’s probably best not to try and change it, as far as first drafts go. If it’s how you write naturally, then by all means have a few white rooms — but be ready to start decorating when you launch into your subsequent drafts.